I’ve been fascinated with timekeepers for as long as I can remember. My earliest verifiable memory of my fixation is of a chimed floor clock. The slow swing of the pendulum and accompanying two note report of the inner workings were enough to occupy this four year old for quite some time. Short chime at the quarter hour, long chime at the half hour and practice counting up to twelve at the hour were a delight for me. I didn’t have the capacity to understand ‘phases of the moon,’ but the face of the lunar calendar dial slowly rotating and denoting the days of the month were something I looked forward to comparing against what could be seen outside on those rare, but precious cloudless Washingtonian nights.

As time did its own work on me, the appreciation for fine timepieces in most all iterations waxed and never waned. Wristwatches, mantle clocks, pocket watches, digital timepieces still captivate my attention.

Imagination runs wild when I think of time. What is time? How did time come to be? Why do we measure time as we do? What will time be like in eternity?

I’ve known many who testify, at the end of their lives, that they have no regrets. That is not me and shall never be me. I am able to say that I cherish time and possess a keen sense of time. I value time not as a commodity but as an expression of grace. Time is precious to me. It is a gift I receive with humility and a bestowal I measure in value far beyond gold.

Some years ago, Gary Chapman wrote a book entitled, The Five Love Languages. I’ve found Dr. Chapman’s approach to expressing how humans love and receive love to be helpful. Michelle and I both used the tool included in the book to identify our ‘love language.’ Michelle’s preferred love language is what Chapman calls, ‘Quality Time.’

My voice joins the chorus of praise singing God knows what He is doing when He creates us.

In my last post, I shared that Michelle’s cancer journey is more than I can bear; it is often more than Michelle can bear. I shared that if God does not grant a lesser miracle that the days ahead will be even more difficult than the days past.

Today I want to celebrate time. I’ve been blessed with over 41 years of Michelle’s time. Though I have many regrets, one burden I do not carry is that I withheld time from her in the past or that I am unable to devote time to her in the present. In the past couple of weeks we’ve had hours of just being together which were so peaceful that we both forgot for minutes, maybe even hours, that cancer’s time is enflamed. These ‘times’ were just us, giving and receiving that which neither of us own, but which is precious to both of us in our own peculiar and particular way.

I think of the time given to us by those who make the long trip out to spend some short minutes visiting with Michelle. I think of those near and far who took time to write cards, to text, to reach out and to pray. Every moment is a gift we only can give once. We are deeply grateful.

Michelle continues to experience the consequences of cancer in her body. Control of cancer’s pain is an ongoing and increasingly complicated challenge. The hospice staff is being attentive and responsive. Michelle is still alert and able to ‘putz’ around the house. This week we’ve been able to install some items at our home to increase her overall comfort. What a blessing!

While we are still sharing time, these two books are worth consideration.

[By the way, the clock was at my grandfather’s house (just in case someone wondered).]

Theo of Golden

The Watchmaker’s Daughter