What I will write in the next few paragraphs is not to be an accusation against anyone. I have no right to throw stones. Not even a pebble is ‘in hand.’

What I will write in the next few paragraphs is not intended to stir up sympathies. I intentionally post here rather than using other platforms to avoid drama and to give myself a fair opportunity to communicate with those who either know the person behind the screen or who have a self-directed interest. (As opposed to succumbing to an algorithm-driven attention grab.)

Michelle and I are deeply loved. We know love, we feel loved. We are also well aware that unless a lesser miracle happens, what is to come will most likely get worse, potentially far worse, possibly exceedingly worse.

Wednesday, September 9th marked 41 years of Michelle and my ‘official’ relationship. We both still remember well our ‘first date’, a ‘double.’ Romance is certainly not dead!

Yesterday those eyes I still find so captivating, brimming with tears, locked onto my own eyes and asked to me to help her.

I couldn’t. All those things I’ve learned to do (and be) these past four decades didn’t even scratch the surface of her need; nor did the narcotics we have at hand.

Overwhelming pain took her and Michelle cried. I felt like I was being torn inside-out. It was more than I could bear.

For more than 3o years I’ve been privileged to stand alongside people who also have been given more than they could bear. Financial ruin, deaths of infants, children, grandchildren and beloved spouses, suicides, sexual violence and even a few murders.

I am certain: ‘It is what it is,’ is absolutely no comfort.

I’ve known the crushing of ‘too much’ in the past and I am feeling it in this circumstance and most likely will feel it again. Maybe even today.

I know the One who created everything and holds everything together and yet was unable to carry His own cross to His execution site.*

I know the strength of family, bought with Jesus’ shed blood. This family serves as examples to us, who encourage us, who sacrifice in many ways to be gifts to us for Jesus’ sake.**

I know that even if I were to be thrown helpless and naked and even guilty before Him, I would not be cast out.***

I know we cannot ‘handle’ this now or in the future, but we will depend on Who will see us through.****

Thank you for praying, please don’t grow weary doing so.

If you are ever tempted to swallow the bald faced lie that God never allows us to endure more than we are able to ‘handle,’ reject the thought and receive the Love that overcomes every weight that life and death can possibly pile on.*****

*And He is the image of the invisible God, the first-born of all creation. For by Him all things were created, bot in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities–all things have been created by Him and for Him. And he is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. (Colossians 1.15-17, NASB95)

And when they led HIm [Jesus] away, they laid hold of one Simon of Cyrene, coming in from the country, and placed on him the cross to carry behind Jesus. (Luke 23.26, NASB95)

**Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.” (Romans 12:9–10, NLT)

***Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.” (John 8:10–11, NASB95)

****Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:6–7, NKJV)

And one more a friend shared with me this week: Consider and answer me, O Lord my God; light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death, lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,” lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken. But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me. (Psalm 13:3–6, ESV)

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